A moment in the sun

It didn't end with a whimper or a bang, but with a garage sale.

J joined my on Saturday to work the sale. It was definitely the busier of the two days, but there were down times where we could chat. I had set up our deck table and chairs in the driveway, and that became our de facto work desk/lounge area.

When folks weren't picking over the material waste of our last eight years, we talked about some of the trivial and important things going on in our lives. Though there was the specter of divorce behind each conversation (at least for me), an outside observer may not have noticed him sitting at the table. The sun warmed our faces and conversation, and I tried to stay in the moment as much as possible.

It had been a long time since we've been able to just sit and catch up on things. We haven't had much of anything approaching normal lately, and though we talked about things like car titles and selling the house, the afternoon was somehow pleasant.

As the sale drew to a close, I realized this was probably the last time I would see her in person under vaguely normal circumstances for some time. We have an appointment with her lawyer today to go over a settlement proposal, and she will be moving out of state this coming weekend. There will be conversations, faxes and e-mails as we deal with the details of bringing the marriage to a close, but no afternoons spent just being in the moment.

She gave me her new address and contact information. She doesn't want to cut off communication, but is leaving it to me to decide if staying in touch would make things easier or more difficult for me. We parted with a hug and some more of my tears. No profound words, just the end of an ordinary day being the end of something greater.

I have this vision of something like Scenes From an Italian Restaurant where we meet somewhere down the road. A time when she could be more forthcoming, a time where I wouldn't be so raw, a time to reflect, a time to share. Another moment in the sun.